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Letter "J" » Jay Leno Quotes
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«Well that's a nice thing, ... Mom, I'm making millions now. I got you a new dryer.'»
«Vice President Dick Cheney said he is upset when critics say [the administration] lied us into the war. I say fine, just lie us back out and we'll call it even.»
«Race car driving is a little like sex: all men think they're good at it. When you are out there by yourself, you actually are good at it - until somebody else comes on the track.»
«President Bush is the fittest president in history. They said it's because he spends a lot of time exercising. See a lot of our previous presidents wasted that time reading. .... A lot of people are every critical of President Bush for taking the entire month of August off for his vacation. But his staff points out, there's nothing at the White House he can't do at the ranch because the ranch is fully equipped. It's got the treadmill, the weight room, the jogging path, the big screen TV, they get Nickelodeon. It's got everything he would do.»
«Saddam Hussein also challenged President Bush to a debate. The Butcher of Baghdad vs. the Butcher of the English language.»
«Now the Democrats control the Senate. But the good news is that now the Republicans can admit that Strom Thurmond has been dead since 1988.»
«Nineteen percent of doctors say that they'd be able to give their patients a lethal injection. But they also went on to say that the patient would have to be really, really behind on payments.»
«My stockbroker asked me something important today: paper or plastic?»
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